POEMS I

Imperfection

I know that I am not perfect.
I have many faults.
I don't know how to change them,
But I will try to be perfect.
I will do everything at 150%.
I will do anything to please you.
I just don't know if I can do it right.
Because I am not perfect.
People say that I am too nice.
Would they rather I be too mean?
I don't know what to do,
How can I be perfect?
Everyone's idea of perfection is different.
How do I please everyone?
How do I please myself?
I need to think of a way to do both.
All I need is to be perfect, and then everything will be great.
Please help me!!
Wait, I have an idea,
I know what I need to do,
I will be the perfect example of imperfection.

Sadness

The sadness is overpowering.
Losing you was like losing a piece of me.
The sadness engulfs me,
Surrounds me,
Chokes me,
Threatens to kill me.
Trying to remove all happiness I ever had with you.
I try to remember the good times,
But the fact that I will never see you brings the sadness back.
I don’t know how to remove it.
This sadness is strangling me,
Intimidating me,
Causing me to run and hide in my bed.
I hold the covers over my head,
In hopes that it will save me from the sadness,
Protect me from its harm.
I must first surrender before the struggle kills me.
Then maybe I can be released from this sadness.

Don’t Understand

I don’t understand why people have to die.
Why must people leave?
How can we survive without you?
Every day it hurts more,
I thought it should hurt less.
I have an emptiness in my heart.
The only way to fix it is to bring you back.
So many people miss you.
Did you know how loved you are?
So many broken hearts,
How do I fix it?
People are lost without you.
They are just floating about,
Not understanding why you are gone.
They are shells of the people they used to be.
I want you to return.
I know that you can’t,
But I just don't understand why.

In Your Play

I’m an actor in your play of life.
I am what you want me to be.
The way you see me defines who I am.
I only wish that you would see the real me.
Not an altered version that you have made up.
The person you see, is not really me,
But an actor playing the part that you cast,
I’m hidden by your image of how I should be,
With your vision you only see the parts of me that you want to see.
You ignore the parts that contradict my role in your life,
So in your eyes they remain hidden away.
I wish I could break free of your mold,
And show you the parts of me that you overlook.
But if I did break free would you still like me?
Would I still have a part in your play?
Or would you fire me from your life?

Goodbye

I don't know how to say it,
But I must say goodbye.
You are gone forever,
I shall never see you again.
You were taken away from me too soon.
I will never get to say I love you,
I will never get to look into your deep brown eyes,
I will never get to see your smiling face.
I will never get to hear you laugh again.
I don't know how to say goodbye,
But I need to.
It is so hard because you are not here to help me,
But if you were I wouldn't need to say goodbye.
I will never love anyone the way that I loved you,
You were my love, my life.
I don't know how to stop hurting.
I never thought that I could cry so much.
I never thought that I had so many tears to cry.
But the thought of never seeing you again rips my heart to pieces.
My pillow is stained with my tears,
My wastebasket is filled with tissues.
I know that you are safe where you are,
But I wish that you were still here with me.
You have no pain,
But I am filled with it.
Everyone says that I will learn to love again,
But I don’t want to love anyone but you.
I must say this now,
Before these tears in my eyes spill over and never stop.
Goodbye my love,
One day we will be together,
But until then I will carry your love in my heart.
I love you and I miss you,
Goodbye.

Fly Away

I want to fly away from my troubles,
Leaving then far behind.
From in the sky they would be so small,
Making me wonder how they bothered me at all?
I just want to forget the pain.
I wish I could be like the birds,
I see flying overhead.
I wish I could stop the pain,
And return to yesterday.
When tears didn't fall at night,
And hearts were not broken.
Where everything seemed so simple,
And everything was right.
I wish that I could fly way,
Leaving my trouble behind.
Then I would be happy again,
Soaring across the sky.

What if?

What if I could turn back time?
Would I be able to save you?
Could I stop all the pain that this lost of you caused?
If only I could go back in time.
What if you had done something different?
Would you have been able to save yourself?
Or would you still have died?
If only I had a time machine so I could find out.
What if things had been different?
Would I still be the person I am today?
Or would things be different?
I guess I'll never know.

Uncertainty

No one knows what will happen.
Living in a life of uncertainty.
What will happen tomorrow?
Or even in the next hour?
If we knew would we be able to make changes,
or is that what makes life special?
If we knew what would happen,
We could say that last goodbye,
And once more tell someone that we loved them.
But would that lessen the pain,
Or would we still wish for more time?
Living in a life of uncertainty.

Pretend

I am tired of pretending to be someone else.
I constantly wear a mask that hides the real me.
I wonder if anyone notices,
I guess I am a good actress,
If no one can see what I am hiding.
Behind smiles and laughter.
No one knows the truth.
I pretend to keep everyone else happy.
I don't want them to worry.
Maybe pretending is crazy,
But I think everyone does it.
It protects us from rejection,
Because it allows us to show certain things,
But I'm tired of pretending.
I wish I could remove my mask,
However, this mask has been in place for so long,
How can I find the real me?
I want to be me again,
If only I knew how.

Goodbye to You

I finally realized that you are gone.
You will never come back to me,
No matter how much I want you too,
Or how many tears I cry.
You are gone forever,
I need to start to live again,
And stop living in the past.
I'm not sure if I can do this,
Stop thinking of you and wishing you would return,
But I am going to try.
No matter what I do,
I know you will remain in my heart.
One day I hope to think of you without pain,
But until that day I need to say goodbye to you.

All poems written by Jenni

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This Page Last Updated on March 23, 2003